One of my great friends turned me on to the enneagram, a system of understanding personality.

Of course, it was easy for me to determine the types of my loved ones…Yet, for myself, it is much more challenging!

I think, however, I am a type 5 (Observer/Investigator) with a 4 wing (Romantic/Individualist).  This also seems to correlate well with my MBTI type of INTP.  

I am new to this system, but so far I've found it very useful and enlightening.

The world is trying to evolve you…Are you resisting or transforming?

Here are some signs that you are resisting:

• You feel stuck
• You are experiencing mental suffering:  Stress, worry, doubt
• You are scared to do things
• All new input brings up fear
• Your life is disorganized
• You feel guilty
• Things seem to be getting worse, not better
• You're quite sure about what you know, and your beliefs are solid
• You don't like your life, what others are doing, the state of the world
• You frequently numb-out with food, TV or substances

Here are some signs you are transforming:

• You feel joyful, curious, excited
• You enjoy new challenges
• All sorts of new people and opportunities are entering your life
• You are open to new ideas, your beliefs are in flux
• Life seems to be working for you
• You are present in your moments
• You love yourself, your life, the world

In any given moment, you have a choice to be open and engaging with life, or closed.   Allowing transformation, or resisting it.

In truth, you are always being prompted towards change and growth, and it is impossible to actually go backwards, although it can feel that way.  If you resist those transforming forces, however, life will be "hard", you will suffer and there will be a lot of drama.   If you embrace your own transformation, you'll enjoy life, and you'll have more to share with others.

The late Thomas Leonard, grandfather of modern coaching said "Life is about us, and it's not personal…And yet it can feel so personal."

We are self-obsessed creatures, with complex psychological perceptive mechanisms that are virtually incapable of taking in information without filtering it through our own beliefs about ourselves and our world.

So, it IS all personal.  If you've noticed it, it's personal to you in some way.  If it's in your life, it's personal to you in some way.  Yet, and this is what Leonard was getting at, IMHO…You shouldn't take it personally.  That's where so many of us get into trouble.

Yes, things happen.  People say things.  All of it will come to you filtered through your own sense of self, ideas and emotional state.  So, it is all about you.  But don't let it upset you.  It's personal for all of us!  It's not all about you! 

Sound paradoxical?  Understanding this distinction will make the difference between feeling like life is out to get you, or using life as a giant learning opportunity.

Do you want to be loved for who you really are?  The good, the bad and the ugly?  Loved unconditionally?

There is no-one in the world in a better position to provide that love to you than you.  No-one knows you as well as you.  No-one spends more time with you than you.  No-one knows your heart better than you.

If you can't fully love yourself, how on earth do you expect others to?  You are the one, that is right there in your moments, and has the choice to get down on yourself or lift yourself up via the inexhaustible supply of love that is available to us, if we would simply tap in and allow.

The level at which you are able to love yourself will form the set point maximum level you can receive love from others, and give love to others.   

How much love do you want to experience?  How much love do you want to give?  It all starts from you and your interaction with yourself.

Actions (goals) are individual creations that build upon themselves.  Often, as you incrementally move towards your goal, you incrementally increase your belief that the desired outcome is actually true.  You are building the goal belief by belief.  How many beliefs do you need to adjust to get where you want to go?

First I'm going to qualify this by saying at at a wider level I don't believe in positive and negative, that's sort of like saying I believe in east and west and consider them different things, but we can use the positive/negative concept in order to understand and improve our experience.

It's a common lament.  They are so negative.  My husband is so negative.  That is so negative.  It's more than just a lament…It is the hallmark of a mental and emotional orientation that keeps you stuck (it is impossible to actually move backwards, but we can approach the state of moving backwards such that we are effectively stuck).

Well, negative and positive are two ends of the same spectrum, so negative and positive all depends on where you are.  And, you are the only person that can be where you are, you are the only person that has any hope of determining what is positive and negative for yourself, and that can be challenging enough.  Presuming to be in another person's shoes and determining what is positive and negative for them is a basically fruitless and often dysfunctional exercise.

For a person mired in depression, anger could be positive.  An outside observer may say, "that anger is so negative", and in a sense they are making a proper discrimination, but only in relationship to themselves.  Something may be negative in comparison to where you are, but it is about you not them…You chose to focus on the aspect of their experience that is negative in relation to you.  In fact, that person may put much less emphasis on that aspect of their experience than you want to place upon it. 

I'll also point out that to feel the need to observe and comment on the negativity of something, is in and of itself a focus on the negative!  I could make that observation of myself right now, in fact!

What would happen if you regulary observed…They are so positive!  My husband is so positive!  That is so positive!  And meant it?  What if you found the things that were positive in any person and any scenario?  What would that say about your orientation and expectations?  Would that make you more or less likely to behave and exist in the manner you wish to?  How might that change the way you judge yourself and your own life?

There is a way to focus on the positive, no matter what your observation point, whether from self, or from the viewpoint of others (which is in fact, a view of self disguised in the garb of "others").

How do you know if you are focusing on the positive?  It's easy.  It feels better.

Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendor of beauty
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
- Kalidasa, Indian Poet

Going into Avatar I had a lot of faith in James Cameron.  The original Terminator has delivered for me, yes as it exists as a movie, but mostly in my mind, as a movie that is entertaining yet provides a lot to sink your teeth into, mentally, emotionally and intuitionally, especially as it concerns the human condition.  Yet, for some reason I'd set my expectations low for Avatar.  I guess I was guarding my heart a little bit…Could this movie really match the hype?

We saw it the way it was meant to be seen, at the IMAX, in 3D.   From the first moments of the movie Cameron brilliantly pull us in.   He doesn't waste any time convincing you that the 3D aspect is going to be worth it…He shows you right up front what you can expect, and it is going to be spectacular.  This is not the same old 3D film you remember. 

The visuals are spectacular, there is no doubt about it.   You are part of Pandora, the "alien world", and its beautiful, diverse, extreme, dramatic ecosphere.  As you become so immersed in the movie sensory-wise, it becomes oh-so-easy to fully live the story.   Have we witnessed the birth of a new kind of movie technology, akin to the shift from silent to talkies?  A great big YES.

For a movie experience, it is in the same realm and may even surpass Star Wars.   It may be more appropriate to say it expands and deepens the age-old light vs. dark myth so brilliantly played out in Star Wars, clothed in the language of the spiritual struggle of our times, enhanced by spectacular multi-sensory effects.   There are shades of the Matrix here as well.  Spiritually and emotionally, it hits on a lot of levels.

On Pandora, the avatar is the genetically engineered body our hero Jake Sully (that's his Na'vi girlfriend above!) uses to enter and understand the aliens and their world.  Yet, why do I have the feeling this title is also the none-too-subtle reference to the true purpose of the film?  Jake Sully is our avatar for entering and understanding ourselves and our world.

I'm a big fan of things working smoothly, with as little struggle, strain and suffering as possible. 

Here's a recipe for just those things…Struggle, strain and suffering…

Recipe for Getting Something Done:  The Hard Way

1 cup of "I have to"

1 cup of  "if I don't something bad is going to happen"

1 cup of "this sucks"

A tablespoon of "I should"

A generous amount of "I'm not good enough"

A pinch of guilt

Mix together.  Push, pull, knead, force and mash to little or no positive results.

As distasteful as this recipe looks, it IS the recipe most people are using right at this moment to try and get something done.  If I were to ask any of these people WHY they are trying to do what they are trying to do, I'd get all sorts of disempowering answers that really don't mean anything.

There are a lot of ingredients in this recipe that are not helpful, but the main problem is what is missing from this recipe.  What is missing is the REASON for the action.  The motivation, the inspiration.

If you are trying to do something, and you have no good reason for doing it…How do you expect to get it done?  Forcing yourself?  WHY are you doing it anyway?  Doesn't it make sense to you that things that are good for you you'd WANT to do?  (I know, I know, that's not true for you in a lot of cases right now, that's because your system is broken, you broke it by using the recipe above.)

Sometimes, you are on the right track with the direction of action you are attempting, but you are not connected to the reasons why.  Here's an example of how you can change a no-reason action to something you really WANT to do…

Go to work - Old, no-reason thought…Because I have to.  New, with-a-reason thought…Because it affords me the freedom to enjoy time with my family.  Or, because I love working with others towards a common goal.  Or, because I can learn about myself and grow as a person.

Now, if you rack your brain and your heart and you can find no self-affirming reason to be doing something, maybe you don't need to be doing it!

If you want life to start flowing, have great reasons for doing what you are doing.  If you don't have great reasons, find them.  If you can't find them, don't do it.

FYI!

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